I was so caught up in waiting eagerly for my book to arrive, I couldn’t seem to get anything done yesterday. Yesterday, you may recall, was August 31. The book wasn’t coming out until September 1. I hoped that maybe it would show up on my Kindle earlier. But no. I finally fell asleep at 10:30 when I realized it wouldn’t come at midnight, eastern time. It’s here now! Now is 7:51am, pacific time. I started reading it about 20 minutes ago. So far my reaction is, “Uh-oh, maybe I should have read a little bit more about these authors before I got so excited about this topic….”
Yesterday I sat here in this chair at the dining room table most of the day, just reading. Twitter mostly. And while I was reading, I came across a link to a review of this book on willpower. I loved the sound of this book! It was science, applied to life. I had read somewhere before about Baumeister’s findings that exerting your willpower can deplete it, making it harder to stick to your guns later. And the notion stayed with me; it really seemed to me that this kind of knowledge about how we motivate our selves (personally, I always think of motivation, not will, maybe that’s a mistake) could lead to real behavior change — in me, specifically.
Years ago I read and for a while practiced the techniques in “The Diet Cure,” by Julia Ross. [Warning, the font at that website is blinding. Yuck!] It’s one of those cure-everything-that-was-ever-wrong-with-anybody things. You’ll lose weight, stop being a junkie, have more energy, stop farting, sweating, and aging. What could go wrong? I’m being snide, but the truth is that I ate the food, bought and took the supplements and, yeah, it was great. On the days when I was really conscientious about following the regime, I would get so much done and feel so good. The trouble is it was expensive and so many pills, eventually I couldn’t even swallow them all, let alone pay for it. The general principle, as I recall, was about your brain needing certain nutrients in certain proportions at certain times throughout the day. And once you get out of balance, either by dieting or overeating or being a junkie, or whatever, it’s difficult for your brain and your body to re-regulate themselves. So you take the supplements on a schedule. I guess I didn’t take them long enough to re-regulate my own self. I got the benefit when I took the pills, but as soon as I quit being able to gag them down, I went back to my sluggish old self.
A few years later I tried The South Beach Diet. That also worked great until I quit doing it. Especially those first two weeks, with no carbs at all, once I got past the pretty rough two or three days of jonesing, it was great! I had so much energy! I felt so much better than I usually do. But when it came time to add back the carbs — because this “diet” is actually just a sensible way to eat, you’re not supposed to starve — I slid right back into my old habit of having no good habits. One of the important precepts of the South Beach diet is that you eat frequently. But you eat the right things. You don’t go more than two hours without a protein and a vegetable. Because regardless of what you think of your hips, your brain must be fed.
Which brings us to the review I read yesterday — not only does your willpower weaken as you tax it, it weakens as you deprive it of a particular nutrient, here identified as glucose. And the review implies that this book takes the scientific findings and applies them to life. Not a diet, but habits, practices, routines. At last! I’ll be cured of procrastination, excuses, weakness, regret, shame. And just as I was lamenting to myself that unemployed people don’t go buying new books, a friend who heard I’d been fired sent me a gift of cash, claiming I’d once paid her car insurance when she was low on funds. I don’t remember that, but I gratefully accepted the gift. I bought the book and with my friend’s blessing donated the rest to NPR and to UNICEF, for Somalia.
I turned on my Kindle this morning as soon as I’d fed the chickens. Before I even made coffee. And there was my book, at last (ha! talk about lack of willpower, I’d waited less than 24 hours — “at last,” as if!) Kindle opened it for me right to the first page of the Introduction. And suddenly, I don’t know why, I was struck with a fear. Wait! What if this isn’t science applied to life? What if Baumeister and Tierney are two right-wing poor-people-are-lazy ax-grinders? I must stress that I didn’t have any basis for this fear. I think it’s just my longstanding generalized fear of always doing the wrong thing, like impulsively wasting money on a book that I didn’t adequately research and wouldn’t appreciate. I skimmed the book’s front-matter for reassurance. Hmmm. Tierney’s other book was written with Christopher Buckley. Well, Christopher is no William F., so that’s not cause for immediate despair. There’s a mention of Drew Carey in the Table of Contents. He’s a Libertarian, I think, but not really cruel, as far as I know. I sighed deeply, opened my frightened little mind, and began to read.
THE INTRODUCTION
It’s starting out a little rabid. But it’s the Introduction, not the book, so maybe it gets science-y-er later. For instance, the assertions about how much damage lack of self-control can generate are quite strident: “He and colleagues around the world… have come to realize that most major problems, personal and social, center on failure of self-control.” I’m hindered in forming an opinion about the purpose of statements like this because the footnotes don’t appear. I can see the notes in the Notes chapter at the end, but not the footnotes that connect them with the text. I’d love to see the references to the “colleagues around the world.”
“We have know way of knowing how much our ancestors exercised self-control” is of course followed by an analysis of how much worse we are at controlling ourselves than our ancestors were. The first example, that during the Middle Ages most people were ignorant field workers who faced few temptations, has me shaking my head already. This whole image just shows a lack of imagination. I can easily imagine them being very tempted, almost continuously, to just sit down, to sneak off, to stare off into the distance, to hit someone, to play with themselves…you don’t need a computer or a credit card to have to use your willpower. Whatever. The authors go on to the Reformation and the Enlightenment and they start talking about Victorians and Oscar Wilde. That’s great, fine, interesting. And… the rest of the world? Reading, reading, reading, nope. We go right through the past century and do not bother to look at lifestyles, culture, willpower, or self-control in historic China, India, the Middle East, Africa… I’m sure there’s some accepted, academic reasoning that allows this, but it sure seems ridiculous now that we all know that all these and many other countries existed and have histories that went on at the same time as Europe’s! If the book were named “Willpower for White People,” of course, it would make a lot more sense. But I’m going out on a limb and supposing that this book is for everyone. Authors and publishers want everyone to buy their books, don’t they? For the record, I’m a white person.
In this next section I have to check my own biases. I’ve got every one of them that the authors cite — not wanting to blame the victim, not sure there is any such thing as “will,” believing that human behavior is the result of unconscious forces… yeah, I drank that Kool-Aid. I do think the “build self-esteem” pendulum has swung way too far the wrong way. For instance, I cannot believe any compliment my mother (or nearly anyone else) pays me because I know she is deeply committed to building up my confidence at all costs. She’d compliment my burnt toast. And I see it in my own kids. They need to show me their accomplishments and ask if I like them before they can form, or admit, their own opinions. Of course, I’m not statistically significant, but these observations have colored my worldview.
Oh, the marshmallow tests! I’ve seen this on YouTube, or more likely, I guess, recreations of it. A kid is left alone in a room with a marshmallow and the instructions, “If you don’t eat that I’ll give you another marshmallow when I come back in just a few minutes.” Some funny antics ensue as kids come up with ways to invoke their willpower, or self-control, or self-regulation as the authors are now saying, to get that second marshmallow. It’s interesting now to read a bit about the research behind the funny videos. They are saying here that the scientists decided later to follow up with those kids. The ones who could wait the whole time without eating the first marshmallow went on to get better grades, be more popular, and not get so fat! But only very general results are shared. The ones who did best as kids did better in college and adulthood than the ones who did “worst” (assuming eating one marshmallow instead of two is “worse.”) This creeps me out because I have a long-standing record of being uncomfortable with (threatened by? could be…) anything that labels you at the age of five. Why am I even reading this book if it was all determined when I was a toddler? When I read things like this I think we’re headed toward a system of testing and sorting — you marshmallow savers over in this line with the brainy high-paying jobs; you marshmallow gobblers over in this line with never-you-mind-what, you deserve it, whatever it is. I’m ready to concede that this is me being paranoid.
Here we go, time to be like every other self-help book. These marshmallow tests led one way or another to a way of testing and measuring one’s self-control. This next paragraph is just one long litany of all the ways that those who tested high in self-control also kicked the asses of the others tested… formed secure attachments, empathized with others, more emotionally stable, less anxiety, depression, and shit like that, fewer eating disorders, angry less often. Low self-control equals prison. (I’m, ah, paraphraxagerating, but you get the picture.)
Whoa, this sentence has me wondering — “Not surprisingly, some of these differences were correlated with intelligence and social class and race–” Race? Why race? Especially because at this point they’re talking about a research study in New Zealand. Not a lotta races represented there. Unless maybe they count sheep as a race. Hey, sorry, I apologize for the New Zealand/sheep joke. Uncalled for. They go on to say that even when these factors are “taken into account” (how, I don’t know), low self-control still leads to prison. I think this is leading up to Therefore, you must read this book! but it’s feeling like If you bought this book because you are WEAK and CAN’T CONTROL YOURSELF, you might as well flush yourself down the toilet now. Again, let’s just assume my inner demons are coloring my view.
Perhaps the Introduction is just the pitch they sent to publishers as their book proposal and they loved it so much (hey, it got them a publisher) they used it. “Who needs this book and why.” Funny, with an online purchase, especially of a digital book, it’s completely irrelevant and even annoying to wade through a sales pitch for something I’ve already bought. But of course in the traditional model, I’d be browsing a bookstore, looking at the book itself for incentive to buy it. This wouldn’t’ve convinced me, personally, as I’ve noted, it’s kind of alarming to me in many places. But I don’t even feel entitled to that opinion given that I’m a known slacker. And now, for the big finish, they are telling me they are going to share with me the “practical wisdom of the Victorians.” Victorians were mostly assholes, I’m pretty sure. Not a selling point.
Oh, here. I love this sentence. This is the hook with which to reel me in: “…self-control lets you relax because it removes stress and enables you to conserve willpower for the important challenges.” Yeah, baby! Give me some of that!
This is my first post about reading “Willpower.” The second is here.
Rather Being 